


Each Night He'll Write

by princess_fluffle



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25048639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_fluffle/pseuds/princess_fluffle
Summary: In the Summer of 2002, while attempting to excavate land for a new baseball field at the mansion, Peter and Scott uncover what appears to be a giant metal coffin that could have only been buried by Erik. Thanks to a flick of the wrist by Jean, the two men are relieved to discover it is filled with assorted notebooks, journals, and diaries. It appears that Erik had secretly been storing them on the property, covering much of the mutant leader’s adult life, the latest installment ending only a few months earlier.After some debate and several hundred laps around the property, Peter decides to page through some of them.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Magda (X-Men)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21
Collections: X-Men Remix Madness 2020





	Each Night He'll Write

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kianspo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kianspo/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Each Day Starts White](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21682816) by [kianspo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kianspo/pseuds/kianspo). 
  * In response to a prompt by [kianspo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kianspo/pseuds/kianspo) in the [xmen_remix_madness2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/xmen_remix_madness2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Safe work, if any (no limit): None, anything's fair game  
> Previous remixes, if any: None  
> I am okay with my X-Men comics/original movie trilogy/cartoon works being remixed: N/A  
> I am okay with my collaborations being remixed: N/A  
> I am okay with being remixed in a different medium (fic for art or art for fic): yes  
> I am okay with my past remixes being remixed: N/A  
> I am okay with certain WIPs being remixed: N/A as I have no WIPs currently yay :D

_ 7 May 1962 _

_ Charles is absolutely infuriatingly exhausting. Does he not comprehend how deep my rage burns? There I was literally choking him and that adorable bastard doesn’t flinch. He believes he sees something beautiful in me but is blinded by his own hubris. A blinded telepath with all the faith in the universe is nothing compared to the darkness of my personal reality.  _

_ I will end up hurting him but I fear  _ ~~_ I love him _ ~~ _ he  _ ~~_ loves me _ ~~ _ needs me too much for me to leave him.  _

_ 29 Sep 1962 _

_ After much urging by that insufferable man, I had my first Rosh Hashanah meal since I was small. Sort of.  _

_ Don’t ask me how he managed to find a place that had ever even heard of the high holy days here in Wasp-village but the brisket wasn’t half bad and, I have to admit the Challah was so delicious I hid some for later.  _

_ Charles ate half of the honey cake himself, chess will have to be even more vigorous tonight to compensate for his sweet tooth.  _

_ For his part, Alex was very kind wandering the place, collecting eight different candles to light this week. Poor boy- not very smart which Hank’s very existence seems to exacerbate - but extremely well intended.  _

_ It was a nice reminder of what it feels like to be a part of a family and also how they are torn apart. This will inevitably be a faded memory of the past like all the other days I’ve long forgotten. ~~I~~ _ _~~just wonder what if it isn’t?~~ _

_ 24 November 1963 _

_ No I did not and the insinuation to the contrary is ludicrous.  _

_ 15 February 1976  _

_ I met a woman last night who was unmistakably like Charles. I couldn’t put my finger on why I decided to engage in conversation with her at first - she was hardly the first person in Poland to attempt it. There she was all big blue eyes and floppy brown hair - should have been a clue - asking me if I would sit with her so she wouldn’t be the victim of waitress pity just because she wanted to have a nice burger. It was only then that I realized it was Valentines Day, or as Magda called it, International Feel Bad for not Married Day.  _

_ When I noticed that the restaurant was closing down, I realized it was time to come clean and explain the truth of who I was, as to not make her wonder why I would choose to cut all contact without explanation. Thanks to Charles all those years ago I’m no longer scared or upset when I think about Mama and I remember she taught me better than that and would be highly disappointed if her only son came off a cad. _

_ Instead of flinching at all the horrors I’ve committed, she invited me over for dessert and coffee. This morning she said to me that hearing the entire story made her realize how good of a man I really am because it showed a fierce desire to protect the ones I love. She’s the second most insane person I’ve ever met. That’s when it hit me how alike her and Charles really are.  _

_ 22 April 1976 _

_ I’m going to tell Charles about the baby tonight when we play mental chess. I hope he doesn’t cry. I always seem to hurt him no matter how much I want to protect him. It’s not going to be easy, yes he broke my heart on that beach when he told me to leave and no, he didn’t ask me to come back to Washington after we worked together to save the future, but first he gave me a home. He was the only person I thought I could ever love until recently and he's my best friend and I pray something that makes me so happy won’t change that.  _

_ night _

_ Well I certainly never thought he would laugh, at least not that much and I certainly didn’t appreciate the joke about all my best shots having died in his stomach.  _

  
  


_ 8 March 1983  _

_ Charles’ mind seems to have fully recovered, and remarkably quick I might add, from the trauma he suffered in Egypt and the plans to rebuild are going well.  _

_ So here we are again, a little more than two decades later, unthinkably side by side building a school - this time literally as well as figuratively - for the exceptional children around us. We are both a bit older but otherwise, not much has changed; he’s still eternally and stubbornly optimistic while I painfully grasp at the fantasy that, as long as he’s there, it can all hurt just a bit less.  _

_ There are international discussions that a mutant sanctuary could be created, free of any human interference and, should that day ever come to pass, I would like to be a part of that to make sure it is safe. Even Charles agrees mutant kind needs protection and has discussed the idea that Raven and I reform the X-Men. Privately I think the X a bit pretentious and I can’t imagine Raven taking kindly to the “Men” but what will be will be. Either way, if I leave again, I plan on leaving on my terms next time.  _

  
  


_ 8 July 1992 _

_ I thought the worst thing that transpired was having Hank McCoy of all people come to me asking to kill Jean. Hank, who had been the only one of the kids Charles and I hadn’t failed, or so I thought. Seeing the pain in his eyes realizing he needed to turn on one of his own. And Jean? Jean whom I had befriended and nurtured before coming to Genosha. It was a new kind of pain, and I was surprised to realize I hadn’t felt them all. But it turns out, all of that pales in comparison to how it ended.  _

_ Looking over at Charles once we’d all worked to defeat whatever that thing was, literally saving the world as a team, I’d expected to see his smugness shining through, if only a little. Instead he collapsed against me saying only, “I’m done.” He told me to get back to my duties and we’d talk soon. _

_ Now a week has passed, we talk every day, and he hasn’t changed. Before he answered today, Hank got on the line and informed me he insists on leaving the school once the dust has settled.  _

_ I’ve never seen a broken Charles and it feels like it’s the greatest loss the world has ever felt.  _

  
  


_ 30 September 1983 _

_ After I promised to stay in Paris for the remainder of his stay, Charles agreed to come home with me. He speaks a lot about his failing, never his faith or hope, but he will. Mark my word he will, I can bring it back, I just need to remind him of who he is and the light that he radiates, even now when he’s dimmed it.  _

_ It might not be an easy task, but I’ve had an insufferably good teacher for half my life.  _

  
  
  


__


End file.
